if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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