they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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