I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
