I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
