Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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