I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
