oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
