No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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