So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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