i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
