After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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