Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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