She is in my trunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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