How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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