Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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