yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
