Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
