I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
