If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
