Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
