She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
