this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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