What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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