I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
