I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
