I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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