OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
