Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My cat gives me a boner
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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