Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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