woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
