who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
