haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
