i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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