So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize