I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
