that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
