i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
