I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
