i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize