She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
