Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
