On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
