porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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