am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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