She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize