those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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