The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
