It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
