i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
