ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
