I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
