I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
