Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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