Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
