Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Randomize
