I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
