my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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