wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
