You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
