You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
